Confusing All That Is Real
ATB1

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Part One...

A red-eye flight out of no where had left him tired, spacey as the plane landed back in his hometown, a place he hadn't been in years. There was a good reason why he hadn't, and coming back only made him remember the whole thing all over again.

A late night recording session had gone well, and both were feeling in their prime, ready to do more, and excited about the project. Well, all but one part, and his partner was shying away from wanting to go through with it.

"Daniel, it's just a tour, you've done it before...So, no worries right?"

"I just don't feel right about it Darren...Can we talk about this later?"

That had always been Daniel, asking to put it off just a while longer, let him get his head straight...Oh no, can't settle anything in the here and now...So they waited until almost the last possible moment, until he had a sudden rush of thought.

"No, I can't do it Dar...I just can't..."

"Daniel, you can't do this...You can't drop everything just because you don't want to go up there anymore..."

"I'm not comfortable up there on the stage, you've always known, and my family is everything to me. I can't spend two years away from them!"

"What about me? Aren't I family anymore?"

"Yes, but it's just not the same...I'll quit the band if it will help you understand..."

"NO! You can't! One week until release day, and you cannot quit..."

"And why not?!"

"Because this is a band, not a solo project!"

"Prove it Darren...It's always been about you...How do I know you still want me here?"

"I'll do everything by myself if I need to. Just come on the tour, let them see your face on the stage, but you never have to say a word..."

And that's how it started, and how it went for almost two years until the news was officially announced. It wasn't the he hated him, no, that wasn't what it was, but the fact he felt cheated of his earnings...Greed had controlled him, made him make bad choices, made him push away the last real friend that he had.

And Daniel? Daniel had just walked away from everything, not even looking back it seemed, and went on with his life, living it the way he wanted finally. He never had to be seen by the public again, and he could just sit back in his office, and work in peace.

So they let ten years go by without hardly a word, nothing more than the occasional card at Christmas or birthday time, but they had become distanced. Darren couldn't care less, he was an international superstar, three diamond albums under his belt, and one more on the way. Daniel had earned himself four Grammy's for his producing work, something he never dreamed possible. MerideanMusik was world known by then , one of the largest labels out there, but still competing bitterly with Sony Records.

Darren stepped off his plane, grabbing his bags and heading for a nearby hotel. He'd stay there for the night...No need to push himself off on his family this late at night. It was bitter-sweet, he was given the same room he and Daniel shared their last time through, and dreams interrupted his sleep time and time again. Memories of what life used to be back before they had split, lost the dream, and lost the trust and faith in eachother.

He groaned loudly, rolling around on his bed, pulling the covers tightly around him. He couldn't sleep...Kept telling himself that it was just the mattress...It was just too different from what he was used to.

"Who am I kidding? There's only one reason for this, and it's him! It's always been him!"

**

Daniel paced the floor of his living room, not being able to sleep either, replaying Darren's interview in his head. The tone of his voice had said everything that his words didn't, he'd never be caught around Daniel again.

"Then why does he come back? Why in the hell would he want to even be this close...Unless he's up to something again....Why can't he just leave us alone!?"

He sat on his couch, staring at a blank television screen until he couldn't stand it anymore, then hit play on the VCR. Darren's mild-toned face glanced back, talking to the interviewer as casually as he could without bringing emotion into it.

"So what will you be doing during your next trip to Brissy?"

"Not seeing Daniel Jones, that's what. That's always the follow-up question, isn't it? Are you ever going to speak with Daniel again, and the answer is no. We have our own lives, and after ten years, we are still happy with the outcome of our decision..."

"Who's 'we'? What's 'our decision'? And who's 'happy'? I know that I'm not...Where do you get off talking for me?!"

He yelled at the screen, cursing at Darren and his false ideas that he was spreading. He had once looked to Darren as a companion, and now he just seemed too far away for any good use. And the way he talked on camera, it broke Dan every time he heard it. And it was always the same answer, never failed....

"No, I won't be seeing him. I'll never see him again if I can help it..."

He suddenly felt enraged, more so than ever before, and he stomped out to his balcony. Leaning against the rail, he struggled with his mind to find some coherent thought, anywhere, about anything but that spoiled little beast who had turned his world inside-out with just a few simple words.

"It's over, we both agreed on it..."

"Ahh, to hell with it...He never did understand. There was no way that he could....And he walked away, away from me, our dreams, and almost ten years worth of work. Where would he be now if it wasn't for me? Even the reporters remember me now....Wish he could be with me to see it. Little ol' quiet Jonesy, famous at last, sharing the spotlight with no one. Who would have thought....Not me for one. Wonder where he is?"

He glanced off over the rooftops surrounding him, looking for anything at all to bring him closer to what he once had...Then his thoughts drifted back to what Darren had said to the reporter after that.

"I'll be flying in really late I think...Haven't really planned anything out just yet, but

I don't want to bother people, you know? It's just not my style...I could by a hotel if I really wanted. That's how good these people have been to me."

Knowing Darren, he had done exactly what he said, well, all but the bit about buying the hotel. But a late flight would have come in just hours before, and somehow he knew Darren had been on it.

He quickly decided to ring all the hotels close to the airport, asking if Darren had checked into any of them, and suddenly realized what he was doing. He shut his eyes for a moment, clearing his head before beginning again. When he began to run out of options, he almost gave up until he suddenly realized that maybe he felt the same, needed some way to comfort that feeling of loss. He knew exactly where Darren was, and after grabbing his shoes and coat, he was out the door, heading for the only hotel they had ever stayed in together.

**

Darren grumbled to himself as he stared at the ceiling, those little bits of glitter reflecting the little light that was in the room. He fought with his mind, his memory trying to strangle him with thoughts of the better days, the better times when the both of them were happy, not just two people leading parallel lives. Even though he had said it, at one time they really were heading down the same track, on the same path, towards the same destination.

"I've got to call him...I have to...I'll never be able to live if I don't."

He rolled over, grabbing the phone, and dialed the number he knew so well...The one that had been hanging by his home phone for over ten years.

"You have reached the home of Daniel Jones. I am either not here, or I don't wish to speak with you right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I get out of bed..."

Darren almost hit himself over his stupidity. Almost 4am, there was no way that he was going to be awake that early or that late, depending on the situation. No, he'd be snoozing off in his little bed in the back of his house...Dreaming of pink dinosaurs or something.

"Sorry if I shouldn't have called, but Dan, someone had to be the first to break. My cell's on if you want to call..."

He slowly hung up the receiver, rolling onto his side facing the window. He couldn't believe what he had just said, and most likely Dan would laugh at it when he heard it. He was certain that Dan hadn't regretted their decision to split the band, so why would he even care about him anymore?

**

Dan burst back into his house, angry with himself for leaving his keys inside. He ran past his phone and into his bedroom, not noticing the red light flashing on his answering machine. It finally beeped at him as he came back out, stopping him.

"Who would be calling this early in the morning?"

He hit play to listen to the message, and was amazed at the voice on the other end. It sounded sad, tired, depressed almost.

"Sorry if I shouldn't have called, but Dan, someone had to be the first to break..."

He tuned out the rest of the message, because anything after those words meant nothing to him in the least. He just stood there for a minute, letting his brain catch up to him.

"He called here...He wants to see me again...He used a line from one of *our* songs...He is feeling it..."

And once again he departed, this time keys in hand, ready to find Darren where ever he may be.

"Don't worry mate, I'm coming...We'll figure this whole mess out."

**

Darren was almost asleep when a gentle tapping on his door pulled him out of bed. He rubbed his eyes, trying to focus in the dark again before pulling on a shirt and walking towards the door.

"Come on Darren...I know you're not sleeping in there...You wouldn't have called if

you could sleep..."

"Danny?"

Darren opened the door, a slight smile on his face as he saw the most welcoming sight in ten years. Dan was also smiling, tears welling in his eyes as he opened his arms, inviting Darren for an embrace. His hug felt so good, so warm and friendly that he almost forgot what had happened between them, the animosity that was in

his heart when Dan said he wanted out so long before.

"I can't believe you came here...Why Daniel?"

"I was coming before I even heard your message...I had forgotten my keys and had to go back inside to get them, I must have just missed you."

"I'm glad that you came, I didn't think you would...I guess I was kind of getting my hopes up that something would happen, that we'd be able to talk this time around without trying to put each other out. Success isn't all it's cracked up to be anymore."

"Tell me about it...I can't get away anymore without being nominated for some award. And you, over 30 million albums sold? Could you have ever imagined it? We're as popular as soloists as we were when we were a band. How often does that happen?"

"Never Dan...Only for us."

He took Dan's hand and lead him inside the room, letting him sit on the other bed, the bed that had once been his.

ATB2

A Time Behind

The Fiction of Savage Garden

Wolf Ramboz, 2002