Dan kicked off his shoes, looking up at the ceiling as he lay there, Darren sighing deeply on the other bed. It felt strange, being in the same room again, two men more at odds with themselves than each other. But on the other hand, nothing had ever felt better, like a hole had been filled where something had been missing, like this was the right thing to do, no matter what happened because of it. Perfection, it seemed, was almost within reach again.

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Ever think about what we might have been?"

"Every day of my life, Darren. All we can do now is look back on it, and hope we learned something...I think the whole music industry thinks we're crazy for what we did...What do you think?"

"I think I'm an idiot for doing what I did...Stupid for jumping to conclusions before I thought about what was happening between us...I should have just realized that you just meant the tour, the publicity...I should have seen that it wasn't worth losing a dear friend over."

"You really think so?"

Darren shifted noisily on his bed, rolling on his side so he could look at Dan. He swallowed slowly.

"Yeah Dan, more than that...I know so. I can't believe we went so long without talking, without seeing, without noticing those little pieces that were missing that had been there for so long. You know where I'm coming from?"

Dan turned his head to look at Darren, his eyes almost glowing in the shallow light.

"More than anything...It was like my better half wasn't there anymore. And then there's the stuff that fills in for it, or at least tries to. When you stopped talking to me, I was so consumed with trying to be better at something than you were that I completely lost the point of it all. Now all I can do is look at all those awards I've gotten, both with you and on my own, and ask myself if I really did what I should have. It's been ten years worth of kicking myself because I thought I did something wrong to make you go..."

"Think we can ummm, make it better tomorrow? Ya know, make it up to each other?"

"Sure, it'll be great..."

"Good night Danny..."

"Good night Darren...Thank you for coming back..."

**

Darren couldn't sleep, and the constant baaing of the sheep wasn't helping, as they choose to flock together instead of jumping around like they should. He rolled around on the sheets, finally looking at the red digits on the alarm. 6am...He had half an hour left, but somehow he knew that it didn't matter, he wouldn't be sleeping at all. Daniel looked so peaceful, his chest slowly rising and falling as he slept.

"At least one of us won't be tired later on..."

Darren laid back down, simply watching his friend until their alarm went off a while later. When Dan opened his eyes, he looked right to Darren, smiled, then yawned.

"Good morning Dazza...Back to watching me sleep again?"

'Again?' The thought ran through Darren's mind. It never occurred that he had done it before, but perhaps he had and just not noticed until now. Things get comfortable when you love them so much.

"Well, it just looked like you were sleeping really good, and I was wondering how you can do that...I mean, I couldn't sleep at all..."

"You didn't do your yoga yesterday, did you?"

"No..."

"And you didn't sleep before I came, did you?"

"No..."

Daniel's smile seemed to spread even further across his face.

"Well, there, I know what you're problem is...You just haven't seen me in so long that your mind is trying to tell you to do something about it..."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because if it wasn't so satisfying to just walk through that door, and see your face again, I wouldn't be sleeping much either."

"And since when are you such a professional at this?"

"Since I had to sit and listen to a doctor tell me that I was sick, and getting worse because of depression and sleep deprivation...I'd have to sit out on the couch all night watching old interview clips and concerts just to make myself feel better, to remember where we used to be. They even put me in a hospital three years ago because they thought I was seriously going to hurt, or even kill myself. That's how bad it was Darren...I don't think I can go through that again..."

Darren let his glance fall to the floor as Daniel told him what had happened. If only he'd known....He'd done more harm to Dan then he originally thought, even though it seemed like he had grown because of it.

"I'm sorry Dan...You should have told me...I should have called...God, you didn't need to go through that..."

"But I did Darren, and I'm a better person because of it...I understand things that I didn't before, and now I realize what a mess we both made. Did we really mean all that?"

"No, not at all."

**

Dan opened the door to the coffee shop as Darren entered, picking a table in the back corner where no one would see them. They both kept their hats on, ordering some drinks and breakfast, Darren rolling his eyes at the menu and it's lake of 'healthier' foods.

"You still haven't changed in that, have you...Still need your overly healthy and disgusting tastes in meals. I never understood how you could eat that stuff, I mean, it doesn't really matter does it? Running around all the time, you could eat whatever you wanted..."

"I am fully aware, but old habits are hard to break. Speaking of, I wanted to ask you about something that I noticed. Dan, did you quit smoking?"

Dan flipped his straw through his fingers before tapping it down on the table.

"Yeah, going on almost five years now...Cut way back on the drinking too...When they checked me into the hospital, the convinced me that the booze was making me worse, and that I was going to die from the poisoning before I saw my next birthday. Needless to say, I'm still here and kicking."

Darren smiled as Dan continued to play with his straw, twirling it around like his drumsticks, becoming more enthralled with it as seconds ticked by.

"So, where did you pick up that talent? Not many people sit for hours playing with straws..."

"I just needed the feel of having something in my hands after I gave up the smoke. So I started doing it with drumsticks, but it's hard to carry around drumsticks all the time and look normal. That's when the straws came in...Guitar picks do pretty good too, though I think I need to engineer flavored versions..."

"I'm glad to see that your sense of humor hasn't changed much. Though you are a bit more talkative."

"Only a bit...Can't tarnish my image..."

They were both chuckling when their food arrived, the waitress shaking her head and walking away grinning. There was just something addicting about those two together, though she'd seen one of them often enough, he had always been silent when he came in, never a smile, never a happy moment. She was happy to see him in better spirits.

Dan shoved a forkful of waffle in his mouth, grabbing his glass of milk to wash it down as Darren carefully nudged the food around his plate, not eating, and seeming to be off in space. He watched him, cocking his head to the side and trying not to bust out. He swallowed slowly, clearing his throat.

"You alright Darren?"

"Huh?"

He snapped out of his daze, looking at Dan, then back to his food. He groaned slightly, dropping his fork back onto his plate.

"We need to talk, seriously...There's some stuff that's happened that I kept pulled back so no one would know, but I can't lie to you. Daniel, they tried to charge me with murder..."

**

"WHAT?!?!"

Daniel had to move at a fast trot to keep up as Darren almost flew down the street. After he had realized what he had said, he had bolted out the door as quickly as possible.

"I don't want them to hear it...I'm not even sure if you really want to hear it..."

"Darren, tell me! We said that we were going to come clean, and this is part of it...I told you my whole hospital-drama experience, now you've got to tell me about this...You only said they tried..."

He stopped suddenly, turning on his heels and looking at Dan.

"Yes, I said they tried, but it was still hell..."

"Who?"

"New York State...four years ago...Had a really bad car accident and the guy who was riding with me was killed. They arrested me while I was in the hospital, charged me with vehicular manslaughter, and put me on trial. To say the least, it was a very dramatic experience."

"Who Darren?"

"Robbie Williams."

Daniel shut his eyes, trying to clear his head. He had heard the report, he had seen the wreck, but they had never said Darren was involved. In fact, they pretty much tried to cover up that anyone else was even there, and that it was all Robbie's fault in the first place.

"Why did they cover it up then? Why didn't they say anything?"

"Sony got to the media right when they found out...Bought out almost everyone they could to keep it quiet and pushed away. My career was doing too good to have something like that tear it apart."

Darren started walking again, at a slower pace this time, but still in a rush to get out of the public view.

"I think we really need to work on our communication skills..."

"Yeah, that's on my to-do list...It really is."

**

"So why Robbie Williams of all people? I could never imagine you and him hanging out together..."

"Well, it really is an extremely long story...and I don't know if.."

"Darren, we have all the time in the world."

Daniel ducked into his car, Darren sitting in the passenger seat with all of his bags in the backseat.

"Well, San Fran is a great and wonderful place...I'd never say that it isn't, but I needed that New York state of mind for some of the songs on that last album. I decided to move back for six months just to get back to point one, you know, where we came from. Robbie had flown in for the Fashion Week stuff that they hold every year. I guess that when he actually decided to really wear something, he dresses really well...We were coming back from the show when it happened, it was the worst night of my life. I got the wind knocked out of me, and I passed out. When I woke up, I was already in the hospital, so I can't really say what happened."

"Don't give me that...I know better. You're stronger than you look..."

Darren sighed, ran a hand through his hair nervously as he tried to find a better way of explaining.

"I'm weak...I knew he was dyeing...I faked it so they couldn't put blame on me, but it didn't work. He was gone before they even got him to the hospital...Some say it was a tragedy, others say it's a blessing. Whatever the case, they didn't send me to jail, but it was two years of legal battles that I thought would never end. Lawyers and Record Labels...Sounds like a bad Country song to me..."

Daniel smiled, shaking his head slowly.

"I can't believe you...You say you went through hell, and yet you sit here and joke about it..."

"It's called looking at the humor Jonesy. I imagine I would have killed myself long before if I couldn't keep an open attitude."

"No, I think that's called skipping the point. Why was he with you Darren? Why not a limo, or his own vehicle? You are a good driver...How did it happen?"

He bowed his head.

"We first met at a company party/award show thing. He was a nice guy, but I felt like there was something more coming from him than friendship...He asked me if I would take him to this show, and I told him I would, never asking why. He seemed really different that night, out of touch almost, but we both had things to do. I didn't see him again until I was leaving, and by that time he was worse, ranting and raving on. Daniel, he scared me...Made a move on me and startled me...I lost control, slammed the passenger side into a light pole...I still don't know what was wrong with him, and I guess no one ever will...It was all my fault for even taking him in the first place...It was all me, and no one knows."

"I know Dazza..."

Daniel had pulled the car to the side of the road and stopped so he could listen, his friend choking on his words time and time again as he struggled with his memories. As his eyes met Dan's again, it broke his heart as his blue-gray's filled with tears. He closed them, leaning back in his seat as the tears ran down his cheeks and into his shirt.

"I killed him...I killed someone and didn't even have the guts to admit that it even happened. I became a mystery, and no one ever doubted the story...."