WR: So I happened to catch Karl Lewis and Ben Carey while they were in town for Savage Garden's Affirmation tour. Unlike the blaringly obvious action going on between the front men, Darren and Daniel, Karl and Ben have decided to have a little quietly lifestyle. And since Ben is more of a talker, I'm going to badger him first. You've got it right, all you fans out there who ever wanted to know. We're doing an interview about their various sexual habits!

*Both men turn white as a sheet, glancing at each other then back to me. Don't make me say what I told them to get them to do this interview...*

WR: Alright Ben, first question. Tell us about your favorite sex toy: what is it, why is it your favorite, and who'd you use it on last?

BC: I...umm...I...well...ahhh...

*His eyes go blank for a long time as Karl finally comes back to his senses.*

KL: Hey! You never said you were going to ask these kinds of questions!

WR: Do you want to be tied up under the bed next?

KL: Not really.

WR: Then shut up and let the poor man answer my question.

*Karl folds his arms in a huff, throwing himself back against the chair.*

WR: We're waiting Ben...

BC: I don't know if I really want to say. I mean, that's kinda personal and we don't like to come out with personal stuff...

KL: The faster you answer, the faster we get out of here.

BC: But Karl, it's my favorite!

KL: That's the point. *He looks at me, putting his hand on Ben's knee.* It's a dildo, a really odd dildo.

*Ben blushes, but tries to get comfortable to have his say.*

BC: Before we even start this, I want to say that I am not into Beastality, it just isn't my thing, but one of my friends owns this company. He said he wanted to send me something for my birthday, something new that he had just finished making. I swallowed back my gut instinct about him sending me things, and told him to go ahead. He only warned me not to open it in front of everyone else at the party.

KL: Hell yeah. I can only imagine what your mother would have said...

BC: I can only imagine what my mother would have said about you at the time...

BC: Anyway, Karl had decided to crash at my place that night after the party. We had been seeing each other for a while, but we just hadn't come out about it. We aren't as open as the other two screw bunnies. There was this box waiting for me on the front table, and I assumed that someone had brought it in for me, probably Russ before trying to rip through my fridge.

KL: Russ is the drummer for his new band, Supanatural.

BC: I sat down on the couch, pulled out my pocketknife, and practically attacked the box. My friend likes supplying me with my sex toys since he thinks I'm usually single and don't get off enough. I'd pretty much figured that it was a dildo by the length of the box, but what kind it was scared the hell out of me at first.

KL: You should have seen the look on his face when he pulled it out!

BC: I think anyone would have made a face at first seeing it. Of course we've mounted it now so everyone can see it that goes up to the bedroom, but I'm getting ahead of myself. It was literally a handful to get it out of the box, thirteen inches of black plastic, and a note tied around it with a bit of string. He says, "Remember that dog we used to talk about? Lets just say he was *bigger* than a St. Bernard. Enjoy, and Happy Birthday."

KL: He read it out loud to me, and I almost fell off the couch laughing. I mean, it was huge! Then again, I don't go around checking out dogs, so I wouldn't know...

BC: He even sent me the specs on it, as if I couldn't already tell how big the thing was. Now, I didn't know a thing about dog anatomy, but this thing didn't look like any donger I'd ever seen before, and I'd seen quite a few at that point. It even had this bit that flared out from the shaft that he called a knot, and I could only imagine what that was to be used for.

KL: *Starts to laugh* He knew what it was for. It looked like a huge butt plug with artistic style. I didn't know if anyone could fit something that big, but I knew I didn't want it tried out on me, that was for sure.

BC: He'd given me his website too, and we spent a little while checking out the rest of the stuff he was making before I even dared to think about trying it out. I was just glad he hadn't sent his other prototype that he was working on. If you've never seen a horse, there is a reason the phrase 'hung like a horse' came into being, and I'm not kidding when I say that he had a horse dildo up on his site that was two feet long. Could you even imagine? God, you wouldn't be able to walk for a month.

KL: If I remember right, it took you nearly that long just to get back out of bed...

BC: Karl, shush. So I finally got brave and asked Karl if he would give me a hand, or if I was going to have to do it on my own, but you know he never passes up an offer like that.

KL: You never pass up an offer to thrust something into that tight little arse. Besides, if he got off on it, I'd probably be getting some too...

BC: I think it took a whole three minutes before I decided it was the best thing I'd ever played with.

*Karl clears his throat, glaring at Ben.*

BC: Besides you, of course.

KL: I fucked him with it all night. I don't think anyone has ever come that much in one night, and I swear to God, as soon as he saw it, he was hard again.

WR: So Ben, what is it about it that does that to you?

BC: Well, it's gotten so I'm not that bad about it anymore, but it was new, and the feeling is just bizarre really. And when you get locked with the damn thing, having that knot buried...I think it took more work to get it back out then it did to get it in there in the first place.

WR: You're telling me you honestly had all thirteen inches stuck in you?

BC: I did...I don't think I actually sat down for three days.

WR: Remind me not to stay with you on vacation.

KL: He used it on me a few times too, though I wasn't the last one he used it on.

BC: Nope, he wasn't. I ended up having a certain Diva lose a bet to me, and ended up as my slave for a day, but that's another story. Lets just say that he enjoyed it as well, though he'll never admit it.

WR: Alright gentlemen. I thing that pretty much sums up question one....

**None of this happened. The people are real, and the objects mentioned above do exist, although I doubt that Ben would ever own one. No harm was meant by the above. And if you are just dying to see what those dildos look like, take a trip to http://www.zoofur.com/animalp.html. Don't you just love the internet?**