3:20a - Strangly Happy...  
I think I've finally found someone...Though I'm not saying much more then that right now. I have to wait and make sure that I'm not reading something into the situation, but in even talking with this person, it has made me happier and a lot more comfortable with life at the moment. It feels nice for once.

We have another show added, and I'm sure more will crop up as time goes on. The new addition is July 12 at State College, PA. All I can say is at least it's bigger then The Bottle and Cork which we play on the 3rd...It's a shack out on the beach, and that's about it. I feel like an Indy band all over again...

I'm debating catching a plane to Toronto on the 5th to catch in some time with the Summer Sanitarium tour...and no that doesn't mean playing on the tour. A certain someone will be there, so I'm thinking it would be cool to go visit. What do you think?

Other then that it's just making sure that I don't kill myself before this summer is over. I mean really, who catches the damn flu in June? Just my luck...at least it's over...
Alright, pimp list for no reason at all...
David Farrell: You are just so totally cool, can't say enough about you right now...
Chester Bennington: My shoulder's always there, and I know likewise. Things will get better, we can't always be blind.
Benji Madden: Sorry I had to run, but life never goes well. Was fun actually being able to talk with you...
Johanna Asplund: What can I say? You rock :D
Steve Jocz: You know, I was sure it was the roadies we sent after you...But you know, that was three fucking years ago! Can we move on yet?

Laytez...

current mood: awake
current music: Somewhere I Belong

7:27p - Yes!  
I'm flying to Toronto this Saturday to hang out with the Linkin Park guys for a while. It should be uber cool, more in the fact that this is the first time that I actually get to meet the guys. I've been able to talk to all of them but Mike Shinoda, but I'm sure that will change. Edit: Would have helped if I had him on my AIM...ooops... Love ya Dave Farrell! :D

Alright, so shows tomorrow night, Thursday, and Friday. Can't wait for the 4th, we're playing DC! Okay, anyway, short update today...I'll probably think of more later...

Laytez...

current mood: amused
current music: *random midis*

9:42p - One of those days...  
You seriously have to wonder some days if what you're doing is really worth it. At least I know that I am doing one thing right, and that's enough to hold me together for now. Not like I'm going to suddenly drop dead from all the shit going on, but hell, is it ever going to change?

The show went alright, just our normal set done mostly on autopilot...My mind was elsewhere, but I don't think anyone really noticed. We're crashed out on the bus getting ready for our trip to New York. We're playing CBGB's tomorrow night.

*Snuggles Dave Farrell* I miss you already, and we haven't even met face to face. Something tells me Saturday is going to be crazy. Oh yeah, on random thought, I picked up the bluish silver color paint. We'll have to find something to attack with it. ;D

Chester Bennington, I hope you realize I wasn't cranking your chain, and I sure as hell wasn't looking to start a fight with you. I have the upmost respect for you, but life is fucking life. We all have to live through it at some point, the way we deal with it makes us who we are.

And to the other people whose names I'm not going to splatter around right now: I'm not hitting on him/you. I am quite happy with Dave, and I'm not going to touch your relationship with a ten foot pole. Since when did everyone start thinking that I'm either trying to pick someone up or cause shit when I'm just talking?

Anyway...*Update Complete*

Laytez

current mood: determined
current music: Bittersweet Symphony

I've been majorly lacking in my large sketches lately, but that will be solved shortly. On the other hand, I just finished my newist computer 'doodle.' I don't know why I call them doodles, they end up being a heck of a lot more then that...





If you're wondering who or what the heck it is...There was a comic that came out in 1993 called The Maxx, and two years later MTV picked it up as a short animated series. It's basically the idea that people exist in two 'planes', reality, and what they call Pangea. The Maxx is basically the thing that protects you in Pangea, like a spirit protector. This one is constantly scared of what is under his mask because he's managed to make it into Reality and nothing is the same. Hehe, he's a rather demented rabbit under all the spandex...;D**

I remeber when the show was on MTV...It was some major dark shit, but it was different compared to like Bevis and Butthead which used to come on right before it...

Oh yeah, don't rake me for plugging Wolf as much as I do. If you manage to actually get to the WR Artworks page, it's all celeb sketches. :P

current mood: excited
current music: Politically Correct

8:57p - *Shower Fresh*  
We just got through playing CBGB's, and what a kick ass crowd! It was a good night, what can I say? I am thankful that we've got tomorrow off though to just sorta kick back for a bit. We're off to Dewey Beach, DE next playing a little beach bar called the Bottle and Cork. It's not very big, and we've got a couple other bands with us, but it should be fun.

I wish time would fucking go faster. I've been sitting here staring at this plane ticket whenever I'm not supposed to be doing something else. I know John is wondering what the hell I'm thinking, but he's never had anything quite like this. We just tell him to stick to his groupies like everyone else around here. I'm beginning to think that I have no room to say anything about relationships, not with my habits. I'm putting them behind me though, I've got something worth fighting for now, and I'm not going to let it go.

I'm wishing for the rain to come back, somewhere, anywhere. I want to feel it running over my face, through my fingertips. I want to breath the peace that it sends in it's downpour, feel it invade me, take over my senses. I want to feel the cool breath against my skin, but I want someone to be there with me too...I want *him* to be there, and I'm sure he'd feel the same.

I told Dave that I would be the one sleeping in the airport with the gas/paint mask on. Haven't worked the part out about getting a ride, just the fact that I will be getting into Toronto early Saturday morning, and I mean *early.* It was the best flight they had going out that I could get without having to run out on the party in DC Friday night. I'm sure things will get sorted out though...They always do.

I'm thinking of bringing a roll of duct tape so I know I can keep my mouth shut around some people. I know things are going to be touchy, and my attitude probably isn't going to help things, but I'm goint to seriously try to get out of the doghouse. It's a little cramped in there right now.

Well, looks like another semi-quiet night in the bus, so I'll probably pop some popcorn and grab a movie or something. Any suggestions?

Laytez

current mood: groggy
current music: Breaking the Habit - LP

5:27a  
I couldn't sleep at all...Just sat up and stared out the window all night. I can't even say why for sure, because I don't know. I did try to get comfortable in the bunk, but I just couldn't. I gave up after a few hours of trying, and ended up staring at a plane ticket and a blank TV screen. I guess I could have turned on the TV, but it almost feels like it would have ruined the moment.

I can hear music from Pat's bunk, but it's not loud enough for me to tell what he's listening to. It could be anything I guess, but it just adds to the constant hum of the motor working under us. White noise...I guess you just tune it out after a while...

At least the sunrise is welcoming this morning. Right now it's just enough to start warming my hands on the table, but I know it will be killer later on. There is no mercy from the heat out here unless you have somewhere to hide...or lots of water...maybe both would be nice. Maybe I can find a nice little stretch of beach to crash out on...Sounds nice, doesn't it?

Mike just wandered by in his pajama pants, trying to find something to drink. Looks like he's been hit by a truck, but that's just him in the mornings. I imagine he'll slink back into his little cave again, and I won't see him until mid afternoon. I'm thinking everyone is going to be pretty lazy today, but you take it every chance you get when you're on the road, right?

I think it's funny how I'm sitting here making plans for this weekend when I should be sleeping. I'm beginning to think that this whole thing was me flying by the seat of my pants, but with all this touring going on that's almost the way I have to live from day to day. With my end of things, I can't sit down three weeks in advance and count on something *not* coming up because they're adding on shows all the time. I'm just coming to expect this from my chaotic life.

Brad says that he'll come get me from the airport, so that's a start. I'm almost possitive that Dave will want to be in on that, but I'll have to talk to him...Yes I'm feeling bad for myself because I didn't get my AIM fix yesterday, but I'm thinking it was probably my fault. Three more days...I can deal with three more days...

current mood: awake
current music: Braveheart Theme (Midi Style)

12:56a - *Kicked back*  
I sat out on the beach today, just watching the surf and the people wandering by. I probably looked like a total fucking loony out there the way I was. I found the perfect little shaded spot, back in a cove thing, and I just let my mind go. I took a few CD's with me and ended up singing to the waves, being ignored by almost everyone else. It was fun for me anyway, and that's all that mattered right then.

A little later on we ended up jamming out to Our Lady Peace for a while, which was fucking hillarious. The music isn't funny, love the music, but watching four guys playing air to an audience of kitchen appliences was probably worth a couple laughs. We love ya Raine Maida!

Two shows to go before Toronto, and I've still got mixed emotions. I know it's going to be fun, but I am silently dreading a couple things. We'll just have to see how everything gets played out. I'm beginning to think that a week is a long time...:\

And speaking of long times, I'm really wondering how long it will be before I get to go back to LA again. After next week, any extra time I have at all is probably going to be needed in the studio (in Baltimore) because we're still shooting for a fall release. I'm about ready to see the whole fucking thing blow up in my face because we are running out of time. If we don't make the deadline, we're getting pushed back to next January because we can't compete with the damn heavy-rollers at Christmas. Damned if I do, damned if I don't...

The other shity thing about all of this is RCA starting their debates. If we do get dropped, it's not like I'm going to disappear or anything, but I'm not totally sure Butch Walker is ready to deal with us again. *Welcome to the fucking maniacs club...* Maybe this time we'll get opened out on the West coast and get sales up...*damn promotion people...*/end rant.

Go Away

Once inside the door I check my face in the mirror,
As I look past this lonely minute
Was this the ride worth waiting for
I'm scared to death that now I've missed it
But she was not the only stone
Skipped across this gravel road leading down the path of loneliness
So I'll fly from this hate, pray my soul the lord will take me
To a place through time and indifference

I wanna know how do you feel
I wanna know if this was real
Then tell me what would you say
If you can make this pain go away

She plans her future looking bright ahead
Leaves me in the past.
I can't stand to hang out with my codependent friends
My patience fading fast
But every sign and every song is telling me I don't belong,
But it's O.K. to feel scared
'Cause one day soon I'll find myself and realize that no one else
Will make me feel stupid!

There's this old man down in Fell's Point,
Always hanging around
Telling me, "Son, the pendulum swings both ways
But for you, It'll always swing down!"

Laytez

current mood: artistic
current music: Clocks - Coldplay