Confusing All That Is Real
Hard Lesson Learned

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"Ohhh...Like this?"

**This has got to be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever come up with. So, to waste time, I was sniffing around The Art of Slash, and fount a Story Title creator, and started messing with it. It came up with 'Learn a hard lesson from wolf,' and this just kinda came out. Yes, that's me arguing with Darren. I'm allowed to co-star in at least one of my fics :P**
 
*Hard Lesson Learned*
 

"Darren?"

"What?"

"Didn't I say grind into it?"

"No, I thought you said thrust...So I added that with the little slide and..."

"*groan* Darren! You've got it all wrong, and whatever you're doing, I don't think Daniel's enjoying it."

Daniel beams.

"Okay, so maybe Daniel is enjoying it, but you've got to work on your technique. That may have worked up on the stage, but it's not going to work here."

"But Wolf, I don't see the point. I'm happy, Dan's happy, you should be happy!"

"But I'm not, and I won't be until you get this right. Bump and grind, not thrust and slide..."

"*mumbles* What is wrong with the thrust and slide?"

"It's over used. You've got to put your back into it..."

"Ohh, like this?"

Daniel starts to giggle.

"No no no, like this. See? More power here, but more flex here..."

"Get off of me! Alright, here we go. So, pivot here, and punch back?"

"*jumps back* No, you're going to kill someone like that. Either that or throw yourself off balance, which doesn't sound to good either. I would think that Daniel would say something, the position he's in."

Daniel lowers his head and giggles more.

"He never says anything, and you are distracting me!"

"Distracting you? And what do you think you're doing?"

"Well it would seem that I'm trying to figure out what the hell you meant by working on my technique!"

"Aren't we touchy today."

"Don't mess with me, FuzzBall."

"*glares* You are going to pay for that one. No more bottled water for you, and certainly no more spare chocolate in these dressing rooms. Good Lord, wrappers everywhere..."

Daniel gasps.

"*points* That's his fault. He's the one always bringing chocolate in. He won't front for lube, but he'll bring chocolate."

"Ever thought of using the chocolate as lube?"

"What do you think we're using?"

"Oh...*blushes* Well then, back to work before you lose it again."

"Lose what again?"

"Your train of thought, your rhythm, your motion. I don't think Daniel would be too pleased."

"And how would you know?"

"Well, look at him. Would you want that to be lost in the argument?"

"No, I love my Danny, but you are driving me insane."

"If you'd figure out the right moves..."

"I know what he likes!"

"Oh do you now? Let's see it then."

"Alright, you do this...and some of this....then grab here...and move like this here...."

Daniel groans.

"That has got to be the most disturbed thing I've ever seen..."

"I'd love to see you do better!"

"I am if you'd pay attention. I'm trying to teach you..."

"You are crazy, you know that?"

"Shut up and let me work. Now, let your hips do the work, and relax your knees a bit..."

"Like this?"

"Better...Okay, now move around like this from here."

"Oh yeah, I could get the hang of this..."

Daniel rolls a bit, his eyes closing.

"I hope you do, I don't want to have to do this again."

"Well you aren't the most peachy thing in the world yourself..."

"Shut up, Darren. Maybe that's your problem, too much talking. How about a little less talk and a lot more action?"

"How about something shoved down your windpipe?"

"How about something permanently removed from your body?"

"*glare* Fine. Slack here, bounce there, move here, and pivot around back to here?"

"Yes, looks all right for the time being. Now what about your grip?"

"What do you mean 'what about my grip'?"

"Is it firm enough?"

"Are you doubting my grip?"

"Until I see otherwise."

"Want me to practice on you?"

"No, I think you have other 'things' that can use the attention..."

Daniel squeaks.

"Sorry, didn't mean to grab that hard..."

"Darren, maybe you should grab something *else* for practice...You're going to break all of the equipment."

"I am not!"

"Yeah, right, whatever."

"Besides, it's not your equipment, now is it?"

"No, but it's obviously not yours either..."

"It's got my name all over it. See, I can run my greedy little hands all over it any time I want to."

"Watch out, don't want to give it a friction burn..."

Daniel cowers.

"I am not, sweaty palms remember?"

"That's disgusting."

"Well it's not like we're allowed anything for that sort of situation."

"I could find you something."

"Like what?"

"A replacement."

"Wolf! This is the best, you know that as well as I do!"

"Oh do I really?"

"Absolutely. You can bash it and smash it, and it just keeps on going. It's a marvel of science."

"Indeed. So how hard do you have to pull before it comes off?"

*Thump*

"Daniel?"

"He fell out of his chair..."

"I think he passed out."

"Darren, we were talking about your microphone, weren't we?"

"Yeah, see... *shows off the new microphone stand* What do you think he was thinking?"

"*blinks* You know, I don't even want to know...I really don't..."

SG Slash Fiction

Wolf Ramboz, 2003